The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Randomize
