I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Houston, we have a squirter
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
