I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
