Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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