He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Randomize
