So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
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