I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
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