How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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