went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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