your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Randomize
