it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
