is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
can u get pink eye on your cock?
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
