Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Randomize
