Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
