just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
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