I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I think people are normalizing furries
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
