Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
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