I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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