...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
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