BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Randomize
