omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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