marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Randomize
