I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
babies were throwing up all over the place
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Randomize
