Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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