Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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