I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
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