Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
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