kristin has been a bad kristin
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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