How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
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