I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Randomize
