dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
The uberlube is also flammable
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Randomize
