Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I had to cum in my sink.
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