I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
I skipped work to stalk him.
false alarm. still invincible.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
