if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Randomize
