Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
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