arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
