i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
he told me I talked like a deaf person
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize