cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
