butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Randomize
