So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
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I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Just high enough for therapy.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
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