Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
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