just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
Randomize
