Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Randomize
