me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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