just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
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