Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
