Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Come see our sink grown plant.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Just pee around me
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Randomize