I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize
