I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
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You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
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There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Shame is for Republicans.
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