its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
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Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
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Can you bring me the toilet please
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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