my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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