I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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