Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize
