I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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