I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
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