i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Randomize
