I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Randomize
