Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
