is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
