No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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