No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
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