Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
My dad is sitting where you rode me
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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