Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
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