i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
im about as happy as oj after his trial
well most of my day revolves around power hour
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
