If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
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