ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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