oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
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