My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
