Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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