Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Randomize