You don't have asthma, your pregnant
How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Randomize