Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
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