should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
