We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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